It's 3 AM and I finally say
I'm sorry for acting that way
I didn't really mean to make you cry
Oh baby, sometimes I wonder why
He walked through the door to their apartment, and judging from the clock on the wall it was closing in on three in the morning. She was home, he knew that much; her car was in the parking lot. Her returning home, to their apartment, was a good sign and it allowed him to breath a little better. He had feared she may have taken a spontaneous trip to Stars Hollow or decided to crash at Paris' apartment like all the other times they fought. Most of their arguments never lasted more than a couple days at the most, but with each one he contemplated how much more she could possibly take. So her being home was enough to give him hope that he hadn't ruined everything.
Taking off his jacket and laying it over the couch, he tip-toed quietly through the apartment, not wanting to wake her. He spotted her petite frame curled up on her side of the bed. She was clutching his pillow and he could see the crinkled tissues strewn across the comforter. Softly climbing into bed next to her, he was careful not to disturb her slumber. He could tell from the fresh tear-stains that were etched on her face that it had been a difficult task to fall asleep.
What had he done? Why did it always have to come to this, walking away and then crying herself to sleep?
"I'm sorry, Ace," he whispered into the noiseless, motionless room.
Why does it always have to come down
To you leaving
Before I'll say 'I love you'
Why do I always use the words
That cut the deepest
When I know how much it hurts you
Oh baby why, do I do that to you
They were sitting at a table in an upscale New Haven restaurant that Logan had made reservations at the day before. It was the first time they had eaten a meal together in two weeks. Logan had been sent on trip after trip and forced to attend meeting after meeting by his dad. Between Mitchum's constant interferences and studying for finals on both their parts, Rory and Logan had barely seen each other with the exception of morning greetings, rushed good-byes, and late-night small talk.
"So my mom called me yesterday," Rory began to explain as the previous topic of conversation died down, "and wanted to know if I could make a trip home this weekend."
Logan smiled at her from across the table, recognizing the mix of content and excitement that radiated off her at the concept of visiting her home town. "Ace, I think that would be a great use of your weekend. And it has been a while since you've been home."
Rory nodded in agreement, "Yeah I thought so too. I miss my mom, and for the past week I feel like all I have done is study. I think it would be a nice stress reliever; like a spa weekend, but so much better than that because it would involve two generations of Gilmore girls and a movie night to remember. I can't imagine a better way to relax before finals."
"You and your ideas of relaxation are one of a kind, Ace," Logan chuckled in amusement but his smile turned genuine, "but it sounds wonderful."
"I'm glad you think that because I thought it would be a good use of our weekend. Between everything that your dad has been making you do, studying for finals, and preparing to graduate I thought that it might be a good getaway. I mean, I know it's not Vegas with the boys or a weekend in the Caribbean but it would be quiet and calm; or at least as calm as you can get in Stars Hollow. And we haven't seen each other much lately, so I thought it would be a good-" Rory's light-heart and genuine Gilmore rant would have continued, but Logan's cell phone cut her off.
He motioned for her to wait and he got up to answer the call. It must have been a business call. Rory could tell by the alterations in Logan's facial features. She couldn't stop the anger and disappointment from rising in her chest. This had to happen on tonight of all nights. The first time chance she had got to spend time with her boyfriend in weeks was being jeopardized, and the worst part was that he was going to let it happen. She knew she should be the supportive girlfriend, especially because she knew the type of boss he was dealing with, but she was beginning to get tired of being traded in for business trips and meetings. All she wanted was one night, or maybe just one weekend, and now it wasn't going to happen.
Logan snapped his phone shut and started back to the table. He had to leave and Rory wasn't going to be happy, hell it was already written all over her face. She had been planning this night for days and now he, or rather his father, was going to take it away.
"Ace, I have to go." That's all he said, but they both knew he didn't need to give further explanation. And like he assumed, she was pissed.
Placing her napkin gently on the table, she willed herself to stay calm. Her mind was going a million miles a minute, and sure she had a lot to say to him in this instance, but she knew that this wasn’t the time or place to have this conversation. “Okay, I’ll see you later then.” Her voice carried that anger, contempt and, most of all, disappointment that she had been keeping bottled up for the past few weeks.
She grabbed her purse and swiftly made her way past him, giving a pleasant nod to the hostess at the front of the restaurant as she disappeared through the double doors and into the dimly lit streets of New Haven. Logan sighed, placed enough money on the table to cover the check, and hurriedly made his was after her.
By the time her got outside, she was in the midst of hailing a cab but seemed to be rendering unsuccessful. He walked up to her slowly, and placed a cautious hand on her arm, “Ace-”.
“Just don’t, okay Logan?” The strength in her voice caught him off-guard, as she pulled her arm out from under his touch and turned to face him. She may have sounded strong, but he could see the tears gathering in the corner of her eye, threatening to spill over in a moments notice.
“Rory,” Logan approached, his voice seeming to plead with her to understand, “you know there is nothing I can do about it.”
Rory shook her head solemnly, “How about say ‘no’? It’s a two-letter word, one I am sure you learned when you were a toddler. I know he’s your father, you’re the HPG heir, and all that other crap but I’m your girlfriend. The one you’re supposed to love and want to spend an unlimited amount of time with. I haven’t seen you, and I mean really seen you, in weeks, Logan. I haven’t questioned any of you trips or meetings, and all I asked for was one dinner, or even one weekend of some quality time with you; no cell phones, business calls, or trips that go for days on end. And you can’t even seem to consider that.” She took a deep breath in, replenishing herself for her aforementioned rant and felt some of the anger that she had pent up melt away.
“Rory, you know I can’t do that. You know, better than anyone, how much I hate my father but I can’t say no,” Logan replied and her watched her face fall but continued on, “The day I say no, is the day I lose my trust fund. I know you weren’t raised in the same manner I was, and you think it’s so easy to follow your own dreams but it’s not. The moment I defy Mitchum Huntzberger is the one where I lose that precious apartment you live in and you stop getting treated to fancy dinners like this.” His own frustration towards the past few weeks was etched in his words, and he didn’t notice the fresh tears that were now running down his girlfriend’s face until it was too late.
“Don’t go there Logan,” Rory’s voice cracked with emotion, “I offered to pay rent, and you know very well that I don’t need special treatment. Sometimes I don’t think you think before you speak, but then again maybe that really is how you feel.” Her gaze fell to the cobblestone beneath her and turned her back towards him, getting in to the cab that had pulled up along the curb.
I know I'd never let you walk away
So why do I push you 'til you break
And why are you always on the verge of good-bye
Before I'll show you how I really feel inside
Her body trembled on the bed next to him, and the simple movement was enough to bring Logan back from his daze. His warm brown eyes drifted slowly downward to her awaking form. He watched her arms tighten around the pillow subconsciously and her lashes flutter as she began to open her eyes. Logan sunk lower on the bed so that he was no longer leaning against the headboard, but was now laying flat with his brown eyes trained on her blue.
“Logan,” Rory muffled, sleep clouding her voice and thoughts.
Logan took a deep breath, not knowing where this scenario was going to go. It could be sappy or it could be a full out war. The one thing he knew for sure though was that he wasn’t going to let her walk away from him again. “Yeah, Ace, I’m here.” His voice issued a response from Rory, but one that was muffled and incoherent to him, “What’s that, Ace?”
Rory opened her eyes and fully registered that he was there, on the bed, waiting for her to repeat her incoherent mumbling. She sighed deeply, partially from the emotion of the night but all so from her slumber, “I’m sorry.”
Shaking his head, Logan reached up and kissed her lightly on the forehead, thankful when she didn’t pull away from his touch like earlier in the evening. “No. You don’t get to say I’m sorry because you did nothing wrong. All you did was put what you were feeling these past weeks into words, and it is part of what I love you.” Rory parted her lips to interrupt but he gently placed a finger across them to keep her silent. “I, on the other hand, owe you a huge apology for the way I acted. Rory, I knew how much you were looking forward to tonight, and I am sorry that was ruined by my father; by me. I was wrong to cut you off and not listen to the rest of your request. More than that, I was wrong to answer that phone.”
“Logan,” Rory’s voice cut through the silence that had enveloped that air when Logan had taken a breath. He had learned in the past few months that not only was ranting deep in the Gilmore gene pool, but it had a tendency to rub off on those closest to them. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I was wrong to snap at you. Like I said, I’m your girlfriend and I should have been more supportive.”
Once again, Logan hushed her, “Rory, you deserve that more than the small conversations we have been having or the little attention that I have been able to give you. No one could have ever been more supportive in their whole life. You have the right to freak out, yell at me, yell at the whole world. You have the right to be angry. I, however, don’t have the right to take things out on you. I should have never said those things about the apartment and about the things I treat you to. You were right, I don’t tend to think when I am frustrated. Things just spew out of my mouth, and for some reason they are always the things that I know hurt you the most. My last intention is to hurt you, and I beat myself up over it every time. Hell, I go and let Colin and Finn rip me to pieces as well.”
His second meaningful rant was interrupted by Rory’s quiet laughter. He could just imagine the images going through her head right then, of Colin and Finn lecturing him about his uncensored mouth. Logan smiled at her smile, “But the truth is Rory, I do know that those things don’t matter to you. I was the one who talked you out of paying rent and I am the one who takes you to fancy restaurants when I know you would be perfectly happy with any type of take-out. I love treating you like a princess, because I love you and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And all-in-all, it just makes what I did worse.”
A deep sigh filled the quiet room and, for what seemed like hours, the two just starred at each other. Rory broke the serenity by leaning forward and kissed him lightly on the lips, “I know you don’t mean it. I just get frustrated sometimes and you know exactly how to push my buttons, which makes it worse. I was just hoping for one weekend.”
Logan noticed that some of the light had left her eyes when she said the last part. He brought his hand up to wipe away a faded tear-stain and smiled, “You’re going to get your weekend.” Rory shot his a questioning look. “I said no, Ace. That’s why I am here right now, and that’s why were going to Stars Hollow this weekend.”
The smile that appeared on Rory’s face could have lit up all of Connecticut and it was obviously contagious because one just like it grew on Logan’s. “Really?” She questioned, her eyes seemingly a brighter blue.
Logan nodded, “Really. It’s what you wanted and I realized, when I finally noticed that you had gotten in that cab earlier, that you were right. I need to learn to say no, regardless of the consequences. And the same thing goes, when it comes to us,” he said, pausing to gauge his girlfriend’s reaction. Like he had predicted, her lips curled up into a slight frown and all he could do was laugh.
“And by saying no, I mean that in situations like the one we were in tonight I am not going to let you walk away; not again,” Logan explained, a genuine smile gracing his features.
With a content smile on her face, sparked by his last words, Rory inched closer to Logan. She curled up into his side and her head ended up on his chest. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she felt herself fall into another state of sleep. The only exception was that this time it wasn’t induced by crying but by the calming voice of a one Logan Huntzberger, whispering “I love you” into the noiseless, motionless room.